The Bleak-End

Yes I know the title of my blog is "how do you say?" Well Bleak, but I hit a wall. I'm having a hard time with keeping all of this up, and juggling these new changes. Dieting, and working out. I haven't been drinking at all, enough to discourage right there. I've been eating better for about two weeks, maybe closer to three, and i was feeling better, and my overall outlook was extremely positive. Now I'm on workout 6 of P90X, and I am losing it. Maybe because I am sore, and have to keep working out through it, that my body is fighting it so hard. So this past weekend was pretty rough with the working out, I was getting discouraged, and something is up with my tail bone when I try to do sit-ups; it really hurts.

Well I persevered, and even though i was using a yoga mat, it still hurt. So I tried my sofa cushions, and I was able to complete the ab exercises. So I found a way (A minor victory.) So I had a rough end to the week, it happens. I had no beer, no fatty foods, barely any of my loves bread, potatoes, and noodles, but on the same note I haven't had time to indulge in healthy foods I like. For example: squash and zucchini. So I intend to satisfy a craving with zucchini lasagna this week, with a side of baked zucchini maybe. Sounds good never had it, but I'm open-minded.

I was doing way better when I was being creative with my meals. Instead of always eating chicken with lettuce combinations. Yeah it tastes good and I'm content. And also having to try to make a healthy meal from meals cooked at home filled with starches. It's better if I'm able to cook my own meals, in that way I can have something delicious with out having to worry about what harm it's doing to my body, and my progress. Now I'm just trying to fight the physical pains as well as the hunger pains. It's a constant battle, but I intend to win.

Oh I almost forgot I nearly violated the cardinal rule: Respect the Sanctuary. I had late night cravings on Sunday night, and the night before coming home very late (from doing some demolition to a bathroom, and some carpet in my folks' house that they are remodeling) I bought a box of protein bars. Now this was a south beach diet cereal bar, best I could find at CVS. So I ate it after my workout which ended close to midnight. There was one problem it's EFFING delicious!!!! So as soon as I finished it I wanted another one, but I fought it and forced myself to bed. Then the Sunday night I had a craving for one, but tried to resist. Then before I knew i was shoving one in my mouth I had all kind of reasons and justifications. Now was it really so bad that I had a 140 cal. snack at 11:30? I don't really know, but it didn't stop there. After that I ate a banana too. The problem here was that I told myself not to eat it, and ate it anyway. I had no control, but in the same sense I'm lucky all it was was a protein bar and a banana. I could have been potato chips or chocolate or even a Little Debbie cake. And that is why I don't keep those things in my home. Now Monday night I had the same craving, and part me justified it, but then I thought about it. If every time I have a craving I satisfy it, it will only get worse. So I put my foot down, and forced myself to sleep. In the morning I was extremely happy I made the right choice. Just the mere fact I took the control back, and Shut the Gut UP!! (Nice tie-in don't you think?)