Dude, I Need to Get a Scale

The first thing you should know about me is that I am tired of being overweight and unhealthy. I am ready for a new start. I recently moved into a new apartment, and have all new things. Why not a new body too? I'm on a new diet where my portions have really shrunk down to a more reasonable size, and I eat less carbs like bread and rice. In addition to that, I have just started the P90X program.

Now let me just start by saying that it's been a couple weeks that I've changed up my diet. Now it was hard at first but I feel better, and I feel like I have more will power than any other time before. I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop, and for me to crash and burn. But I'm trying to fight through that, and to stay positive. And for the most part, I've been pretty positive. Let's just stay that way right? This is all fresh, and I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. For years I haven't been happy with my body, there was a sliver of time in my life when I had lost some weight, and felt pretty good about myself, but I had moved away from Louisiana (Where I'm from) to Florida. I was living a very active lifestyle there with very few meals, and usually small portions. Though it was because of brokeness not will power.

Then after moving back home to some of the most delicious, but most fattening foods being cooked daily by my mother I gained some of it back. When I lived away from home during college I maintained my weight. during my last semester I moved home to save on rent and not to get trapped in a lease. But of course I wasn't prepared for all of the food surrounding me. In the pantry, in the fridge, basically everywhere. I'm one of those people that tend to get hungry late at night, and if there if readily available to eat it's really hard not to indulge myself. Your stomach is growling and screaming at you really; it just sucks. So if it's not there taunting you, you're not as hungry. But when you know it's there you can't help yourself but want it. You're trying to sleep, but that's all you can think about. That's why I "Respect the Sanctuary" Which means don't bring junk food into your house. I try not too. At home it's my holy place. Where I only have food I can eat. I don't even bring bread or pasta. I love both, but I know I'll eat it when I'm out the world with other people so when I'm home I eliminate it from my diet. Nothing that I can just grab and eat right away, mostly things I need to cook. I won't cook at midnight. I usually am an impulsive eater. It's not such a thought out thing when I eat when I shouldn't. I don't want to eat, but before I know it I have slice of ham in my hand, and half of it is gone.

Now Let's get to P90X, this is going to kick my ass. But that's a good thing. The first day chest and back, I could barely do a fraction of what they were doing. I feel like I could of pushed through more. But I intend to go all 90 days, and I want to kill it next time. Ab Ripper X was also an experience I was able to keep up more there, well sort of. Certain workouts I'll need to work on, and condition myself. Overall I'm very positive concerning the program. I definitely feel sore in my shoulders, arms, back, and lower abdomen.

Overall I feel a change mentally, and I think that is the key. You have to get your mind right to get your body right. Now yesterday I bought some resistance bands, and push-up bars since I noticed the toll that a large amount of push-ups take on your wrist. And I bought a yoga mat. But no scale. So I know I need one, but I guess the number is not such a big deal to me. I feel like it's more discouraging to know, because face it, in the first week you don't see magic results, and you'll be on that scale every five minutes obsessing. So for now, I'm fine but I need one just to have a reference point. I guess I know about what I weigh. It's something I've always avoided. I already know I'm overweight. I don't need a little machine screaming it at me. But I'll get one.......one day.